Living with HIV has been made more comfortable than even before thanks to all the medication and treatment available to keep the viral load at a minimum or even undetected. However, the general public is still largely misinformed on the issues faced by HIV positive persons, or rather the lack thereof. HIV dating has been made easier thanks to technological advancements that connect people in a matter of minutes or days. But we’re not only talking about connecting one pos person to another pos person. We’d like to discuss what it’s like to meet and date someone who’s positive when the other partner is negative.
#1: Meeting New People
HIV dating online is as easy as dating in any other niche because in addition to mainstream sites and apps, there are niche-specific HIV dating sites where you can meet new people, share your experiences, and forge new friendships and start relationships. If you’re looking to branch out and meet someone irrespective of their status, Tinder is definitely the best place to start. Most singles who are into digital dating use it, so it boasts the largest member base, which for you means the greatest chance of meeting a compatible match soon. Keep an open mind, download the app, and see how promising it looks.
#2: Honesty is the Best Policy
There is still plenty of stigma around HIV, and lots of people out there don’t even understand what being positive in 2018 means. That’s exactly why you need to be honest about your status when you meet new people you could potentially date. Remember, you’re not your status, but you still need to be clear about it as early as possible in a new relationship, or preferably on the first or second date. The drawback to this strategy is that if you go on lots of dates, lots of people will learn of your status, and if you’re a private person, you might not be comfortable with that idea. On the other hand, your date might feel deceived if you keep them in the dark about something as important as a person’s HIV status, so it’s best to tell and kiss, rather than kiss and tell. Before anything happens, and if you’re seeing a person you like again, tell them that you’re positive, and be ready to have the “talk”.
#3: Arm Yourself with Information
If you’re well informed on all things HIV, the other person will feel confident receiving information from you, and will consider you a reliable source, which is important because reliability and integrity often go hand in hand. In other words, you’ll build trust with your date if they feel you’re knowledgeable on the subject and open when it comes to talking about it. That being said, you need to feel confident when talking about living with HIV, and if this is not something you wish to talk about to strangers, get comfortable doing it with your friends and family first. It could get repetitive, you’ll face lots of questions, some of which may be uncomfortable, but remember that the right person deserves the effort you put into this conversation, and deserves your honesty and a chance to get to know you well. Deep conversations are unfortunately unavoidable in that scenario, but on the upside, the comfort level is increased substantially when opening up with the right person.
#4: Talk About Sex before it Happens
Talking about living with HIV and what it means psychologically is one thing, but talking about what it means sexually is a different matter, both of which should be covered early on. Having sex when HIV positive is no problem at all when both people know what needs to be done. If you’re regularly taking your medication, your HIV count in probably very low if even undetectable, which is definitely something that needs to be checked with your doctor. If it’s undetectable, the chance of passing it on to another person is that much lower, if significant at all. That being said, using a condom goes without say, but as far as preparation goes, medication and condom are all it takes to have great and safe sex at the same time.