Dating a widower doesn’t have to be hard and daunting at all, as long as your partner has coped with his pain and is now ready to move on with his life. Dating after loss requires emotional stability which can only develop with time. Getting back on the market too soon after the loss of his spouse can have serious consequences.
He will feel guilty
He probably won’t be able to relax on your dates and enjoy your company because he will feel like he is cheating on his wife. Your guy could be dealing with feelings of guilt and betrayal which can ruin your night. If he doesn’t feel comfortable with dating, he should probably fly solo until he is ready to move on.
He will make the wrong choices
Widowers who are still grieving may start a new relationship prematurely, out of desperation for love and support. If you notice that he spends a significant amount of time talking about his late spouse or makes constant comparisons between her and you, you should seriously reconsider your current dating decisions.
People will judge him
What people don’t understand is that every widower is a unique individual grieving his way. Some of the widowers are ready to move on after a few months; others take significantly longer than that. It doesn’t mean that those who get back on their feet are cold, emotionless men or that they didn’t love their spouse at all. Nevertheless, people judge widowers who date too soon. If you are dating a man whose wife passed not so long ago, keep in mind that you probably won’t get the warm welcome you were hoping.
He might be angry
You know those five stages of grief? Well, when a widower starts dating before he goes through all the five, he may get stuck in the angry zone. Dating too soon after a loss is a recipe for disaster. You new partner can always feel mad, not with you but the life in general. He might feel like everything is against him and that life is not fair at all. Admittedly, he will make peace with his situation but do make sure to think twice whether you want to be with a guy whose negativity can suffocate you. The risk is real.