Dealing with a loss of your partner is a painful process which takes time. The death of your loved one triggers an emotional roller coaster which leaves you exhausted and shattered. Picking up the pieces and restarting your life isn’t easy, so you should give yourself a break. When you see widowers dating in movies they are either broken and depressed or happy and careless, there is no in between. However, in real life, everything isn’t so black and white. During some days you won’t feel like getting out of bed at all while on others you will be able to focus on positive things in your life. With that said, we bring you guidelines which should help you with your grieving process.
Everyone grieves differently
Just because your neighbor got over the loss of his wife in several months and you are still grieving after a year doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong. Never compare your situation to those of others. Keep in mind that everyone has a different coping mechanism and everybody grieves in a different way. Don’t second guess your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Go at your own pace and take time to heel.
Talk about it when you’re ready, not before
Losing a significant other is one of the hardest things in life, so it is no wonder that your loved ones want to help you during your grieving period. Although they tell you that you can talk to them about your pain, it doesn’t mean you should. Opening up about your feelings before you are ready can cause you even greater pain. Therefore take time to process your thoughts and emotions and let them know when you are ready to talk. Keep in mind that opening up about grief does not mean you are weak. On the contrary, it means you are strong and brave enough to face your demons and let the healing process begin.
It is okay to be vulnerable
Pretending that everything is okay and that you are completely fine will eventually backfire. In the end, you will build an emotional wall around you and your grief will eat you alive. Remember that it’s okay to be vulnerable and that tears are nothing to be ashamed of. Deal with your pain and let others see it. Only that way you will be able to eventually get back on your feet.